If there is one product that perfectly captures the absurdity of the modern baby industry, it is the wipe warmer. It is a plastic box that plugs into your wall, sits on your dresser, and completely ruins your life.
The Science is Gross
What happens when you take a stack of damp paper and lock it inside a continuously heated, dark plastic container? You create the perfect, humid micro-climate for bacteria and mold to thrive. Best case scenario, the heating element dries out the top wipes so you’re dragging rough, dry paper across a rash. Worst case, you are wiping your kid with a petri dish.
You Are Creating a Monster
Let’s say you buy one and keep it perfectly clean. Congratulations, you have now conditioned your baby to expect a spa-level, 98-degree heated towel every time they poop.
What happens when you are at a restaurant, on an airplane, or visiting the grandparents, and you hit them with a room-temperature wipe from your diaper bag? They will scream. They will scream as if you have betrayed their deepest trust, because you have.
The Fix
Babies are resilient. Room temperature wipes are fine. If it’s the dead of winter and the wipes are freezing cold, hold the wipe in your closed fist for three seconds before you use it. Save the $30 and the counter space.